Two: St Giles (Day One)

Performance at St. Giles

Originally I was going to play the part of the little pigs dad. However, due to last minute changes I had to play the big bad wolf. This kind of through me off as I was already incredibly nervous for my first day at the school as I didn't know what to expect.

After performing the piece to the children, all with varying ranges of disability. I was overwhelmed at how the experience made me feel. My way of sort of expressing feeling uncomfortable is by being rather dismissive or up front about things. But today I felt very much calm as I knew I wasn't doing a performance for myself. I realised that as much as you are taught in theatre that you're performing for truth, It's also very important to perform just for the sake of making others feeling better.

After performing the first showing of the piece, I went up to a boy named Dylan and tried to get him to dance. He was sitting next to his dad. Who was equally trying to get him up to dance, but to no avail. I sheepishly but rather determined, went up to him and said "Would you want to dance with us". He responded with "I don't want to, it's embarrassing". I didn't know whether I was over stepping my place with one of the kids but I didn't like how he was so sad. So I tried to find a way in to the conversation to make him not see me as a helper but more as his equal. Because at the end of the day they're just like us. So he asked rather out of the blue, "do you play PS4". I thought this is my way in. I then started to build up a short conversation about what games we play and how great they are. I then asked if he'd dance again and he smiled slightly and nodded.

I felt rather proud that I was able to find a way of communicating with someone who at first was exceptionally dismissive. This meant that I am somewhat capable of talking to the students with maturity. I think it was a sort of revelation moment where I realised I was able to help others just by being me.

Feelings About My First Day

I entered St. Giles exceptionally scared and nervous. I have an exceptionally short patience when it comes to screaming and being in situations that force me to act in ways I'm not used to. I blame southern rail. That being said, after meeting AF, Andy and the staff I immediately felt calm and welcomed. I learnt that by focusing on something completely opposite to what was distracting me, I was be more focused.